No words. I’ve said them all.
27 Sunday May 2012
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No words. I’ve said them all.
05 Monday Mar 2012
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Last night I dreamt of holding you,
it was my first time.
As you approached me,
I was captivated by your big brown eyes.
Joy and elation filled me.
Love and anticipation consumed me.
For the first time in my life,
I felt as if God’s most flawless creation was lying in my arms.
I lie here thinking–
God, have you really chosen me?
What have I done so right, that you would give me such a sweet and perfect blessing?
So, my love–already,
you have me, fully and completely,
wrapped around your finger…
I have willingly embraced your innocence and charm
Before we even met,
I was already in love with you.
Can you tell by the way I stare at you,
and how I can’t stop kissing you?
Now that you’ve entered my life,
what other option is there to choose?
Simply–
None.
My greatest creation was you.
I carefully chose the words to this poem. To somewhat pull you in, all the way to the end. Up until the very last sentence, one may think this poem was inspired by an incredible relationship. In fact, it is. But not a romantic relationship. A parent-child relationship. This poem was inspired by and is dedicated to the life growing inside of me. For the title, word to Hova (Jay-Z), lol.. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Peace & Love.
03 Tuesday Jan 2012
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I normally post poem 3 at a time, but this one came to me very quickly, & I haven’t posted in a while, so I decided to put this one up… to those of you who subscribe to my posts or follow me on here, thank you, I appreciate you. Enjoy
My mind is the battlefield
Too many times does the same issue arrise
Knocked off kilter
Living unbalanced
Which emotions to hold on to?
Which to let go?
Too many times a day feeling this is a lie
Unable to decipher which of your words are true from those spoken only to appease
Frequently disappointed by a change that is similar to the wind
Staying for but a mere moment then drifting away
Living in constant fear that things will never improve, or worse, return to the way they were
Trying desperately to escape the thoughts--
They’re taking control, consuming every minute of every hour
Fighting the instict to rebel and do what is being done–giving the same heartache that is being received
What are the options?
Abandone love and walk alone? Or tolerate the punishment the “ex” deserves?
Not speak? Afraid you’ll say goodbye? Or tell you my feelings and risk the loss?
The decision will be a challenging one
An attempt at making us understand this game of love
An ever changing,
uphill battle,
in the minds of us all
12 Friday Aug 2011
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Tags
Confusion, Couples, healing, Hurt, Love, Pain, personal, poems, poetry, random thoughts, Relationships, Thoughts
-1-
Because of you, I’m too resentful
Scorned, damaged, and furious
The anger that was suppressed
has made it’s way to daylight
All the memories of the way things used to be fill my mind
Day to day, waiting for things to crumble
Not letting you in, pushing you into the distance
Fussing, fighting, and wishing, the past I could erase
Trying to heal, but it’s not happening with enough haste
I really should just walk away
-2-
I promised I would let go of the past
It’s certainly the only way this love will last
I think you’re immune to all my pain
Cuz every time I try to speak, I feel you look away
I wanted to start over
But it seems we’ve just picked up where we left off
My heart in the same broken condition which you left it
Is it possible? To move past all the mistakes?
Some days I think it is
Some days I think it’s too late
So what’s next? Keep fighting through all these tears?
Or will I find myself succumbing to my fears?
Ain’t nobody tell me this is love
When you find it hard to trust, I guess this is the result…
-3-
I simply can’t understand why you’re here
I find it hard to trust
I need to much
And I really don’t believe in love
I’m not sure I can make you happy
Sometimes I don’t let things go
I get emotional
And sometimes I’m just out of control
I’m trying to move forward in spite of my past
But even when I forget the things you said
Or the things you did
I will never forget the way you made me feel
Regardless, I need you around
I prayed for an angel to guide me and you appeared
It’s time for me to accept you, listen to you, and love you
You’re fighting harder for me than anyone I’ve ever known
And for that, I thank you
06 Saturday Aug 2011
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PREVIOUSLY RELEASED
HOUSTON, TX, July 27, 2011 — Isaac Andre Lyons, owner and designer of Sidepiece, will have his designs featured in the showcase window of the Art Institute of Houston-Main Campus. The college taps into the talent pool of its students and showcases a fresh face every week. The Sidepiece display, themed “Expensive Taste,” will be showcased until the end of the day Thursday Aug 4, 2011 on the third floor.
Founded in 2010, Sidepiece has quickly grown to be a very successful accessory line. With an increase in sales of the past 4 months, Sidepiece is well on its way to becoming a top contender in the fashion industry. Lyons grabbed the attention of his professors as well. Noticing the continued buzz surrounding Sidepiece, his professor encouraged him to showcase his work for his fellow peers to see. After humbly agreeing, Lyons designed the window display and received great praise from his professors and other students attending the college.
Sidepiece features five staple pieces and also gives a customization option. To ensure anyone who wants to wear a “sidepiece” can have the luxury of doing so, the pendants are moderately priced from $7 to $14. What makes Sidepiece unique is majority of the materials used to make the pendants are eco-friendly—giving customers the chance to be fashionable and earth-conscious at the same time.
When asked about 2012 collection of Sidepiece, Lyons had this to say, “Something I’ve always been proud to credit myself with is the ability to be innovative, and that’s something that has helped me with all of Sidepiece’s endeavors. I can definitely say that what I have in store for the line is something that has yet to be seen or done.”
Chanel Belle Public Relations is a boutique public relations firm that caters to clients in the Visual and Performing Arts. Our vision is to act as a liaison on behalf of our clients; working with the media to ensure the establishment of credibility and an increase in visibility. For more information, contact Chanel Fisher at (414) 460-4450.
ABOUT SIDEPIECE
Sidepiece is a line of pendants and jewelry that caters to the young, up and coming dreamers who are striving to make their dreams a reality and still look stylish and fashionable while doing it. Committed to the interests of its customers, Sidepiece has products available through an internet retail distributor. For additional information, please visit the website at: http://www.sidepiece.bigcartel.com
Contact:
Chanel Fisher
Chanel Belle Public Relations
414-460-4450
info@chanelbellepr.com
http://www.chanelbellepr.com
###
03 Wednesday Aug 2011
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Emotions, Hurt, Love, Pain, personal, poems, poetry, random thoughts, Relationships, Struggle, Thoughts
Struggling with feelings of self-loathing & worthlessness is something I’ve battled for as long as I can remember** ..growing up in a household with my mother & stepfather (who showed up when I was 2), one would think I should be stable.. but the fact of the matter is, I’m not.. From my childhood all through my teenage years and into my first stages of becoming an independent woman, I striven to be what I thought was the perfect daughter.. All in hopes of being so perfect that my father would come back to me & my stepfather would never leave.. But of course, life ain’t all roses.. So with those thoughts came the slow deterioration of Chanel Fisher–the child of a young woman and self-righteous man..
Wishing you would call
Or I could see your face
Just to show you what you’ve done to me
Yes! I blame you
Becuz I didn’t ask to be here
You brought me into this world & left me to fend for myself
Is that what men do?
Please tell me. I beg of you
Cuz I’m stuck sittin here lookin dazed & confused
Here’s a man who loves me,
But I dare not trust him,
Becuz you’ve trained me not to..
You had my mind, my heart, & my soul,
I gave you all the power.
You did nothing but kick me out, now I’m fucked up, ten times over
The simplest shit
That’s hardest for me to deal with..
But I’m sure your youngest daughter doesn’t have a problem with it
How you sleep at night is a question I’d love to have answered..
Now I have to go back to the starting line, basically moving backwards.
**I am now actively working to take care of myself mentally & emotionally. That’s something I’ve neglected for a very long time–only stopping to tend to problems I thought were “urgent” never putting in the time to deal with a problem enough to be fully over it. I wanna give a quick thanks to those who are helping me in one way or another..I thank God for all of you. Much Love.
02 Tuesday Aug 2011
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-1-
Painful memories of the past occasionally make their way into the present
Doing away with all hopeful thoughts of the future
Today I wait for things to return to the way they used to be
Yet tomorrow I hope things will be different
This constant circle of endless thoughts is consuming me
Pushing me to re-live every moment & re-watch the way love died
Then they bring me back around..And I remember..
Us. The love. The intimacy..
Is it enough?
Can we start over..and give love another life?
-2-
How do you turn back the hands of time?
How do you erase the scars of the past?
Starting anew seems a task difficult to feat..
I’m afraid, but he continues to try..
Holding me. Telling me, “this time it will last.”
As I wonder, is here where I really wanna be?
-3-
Some days I think about you
Other nights I dream about you
I even considered calling you
It’s been years since we’ve spoken
I’m becoming a much different woman than the silly girl you knew
Maybe things would change if I made contact
Maybe you’d call more if I said the things you wanted to hear
Maybe you’d even tell me you love me if I told you first
That’s how things would be in a perfect world
But this is the real world
In reality, you live your life..& I live mine
In reality, I’ve fought battles caused by your absence
In reality, I’ve cared too much simply because you don’t care enough
Time will gone on and the earth will not stand still
Making up for lost time will never be an option
Was it worth it, daddy?
30 Saturday Jul 2011
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Tags
Confusion, Hurt, Love, personal, poems, poetry, Random, random thoughts, Relationships, Thoughts, Trust
Love Lost
No one’s hurt me more than you
& still I can’t forget..
..the curves of your muscles;
the dimples on your face;
& the fit of your hand in mine
You can’t really love someone
unless you trust them..
..I trusted you,
I opened my heart for you,
& I believed every promise
Right or wrong,
I loved you..
..weak or strong,
I still loved you
I let down my guard,
Cuz you were my guard..
..but who protects me now?
OVER MY HEAD
My love is real
My love is unconditional
I thought our love was unbreakable
From the start I was in over my head.
I followed my heart
But in reality,
you don’t fit the part.
From the start I was in over my head.
In & out of love is where you keep pushing me
Whether or not to love you is what keeps confusing me
From the start I was in over my head.
We shared a few stolen moments
But nothing that ever contained substance
From the start I was in over my head.
I keep running in circles over you
But all your lies, I can see through
I suppose I have no choice
Other than to let you go,
Simple because..
..From the start I was in over my head
29 Friday Jul 2011
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How far are we willing to go for ‘love’? Does the fact that humans want to feel loved justify the unnecessary drama we go through daily [because of it]? Are some of us this way simply because we have an ‘alone complex’? Or is it something deeper? Is there a stronger yearning for something that no man (or woman) can provide?
Our we so desperately seeking love that we are willing to do the unreasonable? Are we willing to feel belittled or unworthy? Love doesn’t make you cry yourself to sleep at night. Love doesn’t leave you feeling forgotten about or unappreciated. Love wakes you up with joy in your heart and a smile on your face. Love makes you feel your best even when you’re at your worst. Love is unconditional.
If you have to spend your days contemplating whether or not a relationship is going to work, chances are, it isn’t. Don’t settle for what you know isn’t someone’s best. If you’re in a relationship, and you feel like you love the other person with all your heart, that still is not a good enough reason to accept mediocre love in return–that’s called a one-sided relationship (in which the person giving the most love gets hurt worse.)
If you’ve given your last to the other person, and still feel like you’re running in circles, it’s because you are. ESPECIALLY if you’re dealing with someone who is holding on to his (or her) past [relationships] for dear life.
Something I’ve learned is that broken people make broken promises. We try so hard to believe that the person we are in love with would never hurt us. The fact of the matter is, they will. Now, we can either be naïve, and allow the maximum amount of damage to be done..OR..we can stop holding on to these broken dreams and realize that we are all human [and expect mistakes].
If you’re someone who’s been through a lot (who hasn’t?) and you’re with someone that has the same or more ‘emotional damage’ than you, there will most definitely be conflict. An ‘emotionally damaged’ person has not fully experienced or reaped the full benefits of the love of God. Therefore, neither party knows how to PROPERLY receive love. Consequently, each of you bounce back and forth between rejecting each other so you don’t get hurt and trying to get the other person to love you with a perfect love.
Not one man or woman on this earth is capable of loving us the way God is*. So now ask yourself, are you only running to the one you ‘love’ because you’re afraid or intimidated to go where your TRUE love can be found? If that is the case, don’t feel ashamed. I’ve been there.
Thankfully, something else I learned is that Christ is not hard to find. BUT, you have to be willing to repent[confess your sins(mistakes)] and surrender [give yourself] to Him. Then, and only then, will we be able to say, “Yes, I am TRULY loved and I know I will NEVER be alone, because I am a child of God.”
No matter how badly you’ve been hurt because of ‘love’ never give up on it. Because God is Love and if you don’t know Love, you don’t know God.
Much Love People!
*1 John 4:18–”…perfect love casts out fear; ONLY GOD CAN LOVE PERFECTLY AND WITHOUT FAULT.”
29 Friday Jul 2011
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TRAFFIC
Racing through–the confined spaces
Some speeding mercilessly
Others–yielding to the warning signs
Swerving and switching lanes
Finally halting abruptly–
Inching forward slowly
Searching for an exit,
Desperate to escape the rigmarole,
Dashing toward the cloud-covered horizon,
Only then having reached the destination
WITHOUT YOU
The days get longer..
The pain stings worse..
When will it end?
I can’t think..
I can’t eat..
I can’t sleep..
I’m trying to erase this misery–
I wish I could rip out a page of my memory.
God, Please, Come rescue me!
GROWTH
The STRUGGLE of life pushes us to make inevitable mistakes
MISTAKES that make us grow stronger, and because we got through it,
fill us with a sense of SELF-RESPECT
Self-Respect allows us to see, in others, and especially, in ourselves, the TRUTH
A truth that gives us courage to to have faith
FAITH that heals…faith that takes away feelings of guilt, hurt, shame, and DEFEAT
Defeat turns into VICTORY, FAILURE turns to SUCCESS, and AGONY to COMFORT–
but only when we have enough faith to believe
BELIEVE in SINCERITY, believe in BLAMELESSNESS..believe in LOVE
Love is God
and GOD is Love
Let Love live in your heart..have enough faith to believe that His Truth defeats all struggle..and leaves no room for error